Monday, April 25, 2011

The things that are lurking under your fridge....

Ok I am going to get very real here. If you own animals (cats and/or dogs) that eat dry food and are fed in your kitchen keep reading.  If not, you may want to stop here or at least wait until after lunch.

I didn't know this, honest I didn't. I just cleaned under my fridge. Like moved it out of its spot scrubbed the floor....cleaned under my fridge. I know over the years that bits of cat food have gone under the fridge when sweeping and I expected to find some. One of the cats likes to "play" with the food before he eats it and some of it gets away.  What I found was worse than I could ever imagine!!! There was cat food, lots and lots and lots of cat food "dust" and fluffy "stuff". Upon further examination of the fluffy "stuff" ...MAGGOTS. Yes, MAGGOTS. Their dead carcasses were the fluffy "stuff". I am so grossed out at the moment I'm actually sick to my stomach.

So word to the wise. Do not feed your animals dry food in your kitchen near your refrigerator. If you do, you may want to clean under your fridge too...and then move where you feed them.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Jeeps can't swim

That is the lesson for today.

They don't like mud puddles....especially mud puddles that are about a foot deep on a road in the middle of nowhere that doesn't have cell phone service and they can't swim.

I should have taken a picture, but I didn't.

Here is the mental picture: it is 4:30 in the afternoon and maybe 50 degrees.  We are up in the foothills of the mountains and the Tom Tom (POS that it is) tells us to turn down this road to get home.  It is a powerline road.  For those that don't know, like me before yesterday, those are the dirt/gravel roads between the powerlines.  We are about two miles down this road when the jeep died.  Granted we had been through a few puddles, but it died.  Did I mention the two small children in the back?  Did I mention it died IN the puddle? Did I mention these puddles are like a foot to a foot and a half deep?

Our first thought was to get the Jeep out of the puddle.  We hop out into the foot deep COLD water and try to push.  We rock it back and forth, but we can't push it out.  While we try pushing the baby starts getting upset and then the oldest starts melting down.  He's crying saying he misses home and we'll never see it again.  I pull out my phone to discover the lack of cell coverage (FUCK YOU T-MOBILE) and I'm about to meltdown myself.  Husband decides to walk to get either help and/or cell coverage while I try to manage the 5 year old and the 4 month old in the Jeep.

We wait.  I get the kids calmed down.  The oldest goes on about how Daddy made a sad choice and we are stuck in the mud.  I told him this is a good lesson for him.  This is why you don't drive through puddles, which Daddy has told Mommy lots of times.  Husband comes back.  He was able to get 911 emergency coverage a bit down the road and he's called for a tow.  Except that his description to the dispatcher has her thinking we are about 40 miles from where we actually are.  Luckily, the cell phones have emergency coverage again and he's able to give them the longitude and latitude of where we are.  We sit and wait.

I'm stressed, he's stressed, our children are stressed.  It really wasn't our finest parenting moments.  The 5 year old proceeds to sing, whine, and cry for then next hour.  We proceed to try and sooth and calm him and finally resort to "SHUT UP".  Meanwhile the baby is exhausted and just wants to sleep and is having trouble getting there with the aforementioned "soundtrack".

Husband decides he had better walk out to the main road, or at least where he thinks it is, to wait for the tow truck.  While he's gone the county sheriff shows up.  He decides that he will take me and the kids to the nearest gas station which has a table so we can wait out of the elements.  To do this, I have to wade through the puddles we have driven through with each child.  I take the oldest first; I figure he can stand and wait with the officer and the officer wont have to hold him or try and keep him warm.  By the time I was on my way back to get the baby my feet and legs started going numb from the cold water.  Did I mention I now have rocks in my shoes?  Really, this just gets better and better...Husband is no where in sight but I guess he called the 911 dispatcher again and they were able to relay to him that the officer was taking us to town and he needed to head back to the car.

We all got settled at the gas station, husband was found, and the tow truck finally found us at the gas station.  My Dad came and rescued us to take me and the boys home, and I went and picked up Husband at the dealership where the Jeep was dropped off.  Remember the part where the tow truck was having trouble finding us?  $850 for 3 1/2 hours of "service".  According to Husband, this service also included him making my husband go out and hook up the Jeep because he was already wet. 

On the bright side, we are home, we are safe, and we seem to have escaped frostbite.  We don't know how much this is going to cost yet, but I am thinking we may have just spent all of our tax refunds....

Friday, April 8, 2011

I hate facebook!

Really.

I hate that it has infiltrated our society to such a degree that if I want to find out more information about a Frontier Airlines spring flight sale I HAVE TO LOG INTO FUCKING FACEBOOK!  If I want to enter a local radio contest to win tickets to the aquarium I have to like them on Facebook?  Everyone is asking people to go onto Facebook and "like" them.  If everyone likes everything, what value does "liking" it hold? 

I do not have a Facebook page.  I will not have a facebook page.  You will not see oodles of pictures of my children and what we did two weekends ago (which you don't give a shit about anyway) on my Facebook page.  If I knew you 20 years ago in school and we haven't talked since then, I do not want to know that you went and had the BEST OMG !?@? whatever you just had.  I don't want to connect with you.  If I did, I would have gone to the high school reunion.  I would have tracked you down.  I don't. Go away.  Go poke someone else.

Why do we have to be so connected by such inane dribble?  Why can't we be connect in a real way?  Look you want to be my "friend"?  Be a real friend.  Pick up the phone, invite me for coffee and lets talk about something real.  I want to see your face light up and the intonation of your voice when you talk about your trip.  The pictures don't mean anything to me without the story that goes behind it.  I want you to see the sincerity on my face and friendship in my voice while we talk over the problems you are having at work.  I don't want 144 characters when they are barely sufficient to ask how your day was.

What I find amusing now is that it has become so mainstream, so easy to access that people are now feeling the consequences of their actions.  Employees who have called in sick, but updated their status that they are at the mall are getting fired.  Ranting about your boss on your wall or whatever is getting you passed by that employer you just applied to.  And contrary to what we have been told since we were children, words do hurt, and bullying is worse than it ever has been before.  There seems to be this illusion of some sort of anonymity online.  Since you can't see my typing...you don't know who I am and I can trash you, or pretend I'm not married, or that I am 13 and that it will have no consequences. 

Some people have gotten smart.  Kids now just blur out the beer bottle in the picture they post on Facebook.  That way when their mom, who stalks them on Facebook, sees the picture she wont actually know it was a beer (just the picture proof that you were at the kegger.)  But even the most careful people mess up.  And just like a really bad "reply all" mishap, once it is out there it is forever.  One day, you will post something you wish you had never posted and your 5,789 friends will all "like it" and before you know it...someone who really matters like your boss, your mom, your spouse, your heaven forbid your children WON'T like it.

So, why don't we grab a cup of coffee?